I was walking home from church when it happened. I was happily chatting with my friend when a motorcycle passed by. Few minutes later, he came back and stopped in front of us to ask for directions. The rider wore a jacket, a pair of black pants, a black helmet, and a bandana over his mouth. I was willingly giving him instructions when he reached out and fondled my breast. I froze in fear. I cried like a baby (and I’m crying now writing this). I was only 17 then, and very thankful I was with a friend. Another family friend saw us and brought me home. I was crying for what seemed like forever. I cannot look at myself in the mirror; I cannot recount what happened without crying my eyes out. My then boyfriend had to take me to school and pick me up everyday for at least a month. I became very jumpy around strange men and I had my arms always folded against my chest every time I come out the house. That fear lasted for months. I was angry that there are people out there whose minds are clouded by perversion to the point of terrorizing young innocent girls.
Unfortunately, sexual harassment is not confined to the streets. We personally know the rapists and perps. Rape culture is true and a lot of young women are trapped. Remember that having sex is wrong if:
You’re doing it because you feel you’re at the point where you need to do it to keep the relationship,
Your partner is putting pressure on you,
And you are “proving” your love and loyalty.
Consent is not only about saying yes or no. It is also about how you feel doing it. You shouldn’t feel any pressure or threat. It is not the girl’s fault that a relationship didn’t work out because she said NO. It is rape if you are unwilling to do it even on an emotional level. Sometimes the devil dwells on the people you already know.
I wish this notion can somehow empower those who are still afraid and ashamed to stand up and realize that an abuse/assault is never a woman’s fault no matter what it is she’s wearing or how late is she out at night.
Join the conversation now. Share your story.
And please please let this message reach the monster who did this to me and hopefully make him feel apologetic in any way because this is not my burden but yours, monster.