I Am Kiki: Cancer Took the Bravest Woman I Know

I love you, Tita Ma. I still miss you everyday. I’m sad that my future sons and daughters won’t be able to meet you, but I am glad that you had been a part of my life. I learned so much from you and I will never forget anything you taught. I love you more than I did before. You will always be my idol. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I Am Kiki: My First Papansin Post!

This is my version of “I am Jenna” ha ha ha 

I’m not really sure why, but just now I decided I am going to try to start a daily blog diary. Feeling ko kaya ko to naisipan dahil nanood nanaman ako ng Awkward araw-araw. No’ng unang beses ko pinanood yung series na’to, very affected ako. Hanggang ngayon affected pa rin ako. Nainggit siguro ako sa kaka blog dun ni Jenna kaya feeling ko gusto ko din mag blog everyday, ng stuff na walang sense. haha

Naisip ko rin kasi, ngayon ngayon lang, ang daldal ko palagi sa mga nakakasabay ko pauwi, namely si Chona at Martin. Minsan sa loob-loob ko naiisip ko, naiirita na kaya sila sa kadaldalan ko? So para mabawasan naman yung mga kwento ko sakanila, dito ko nalang ikkwento sa mga pahina ng WordPress. 

First of all, gusto ko muna ikwento yung lahat ng kamalasan na meron ako kahapon. Nagsuka ko, na hindi ko alam yung reason, and nabangga yung kotse ni Kevin! Nakakaloka lang kasi yung pagsusuka ko di ko maintindihan. Ang kinain ko lang naman kahapon ay isaw at french fries. WTF. So ano? Allergic ako sa isaw tapos ang bagong allergic reaction ko ngayon ay pagsusuka? What the mother freakin allergic reaction is that. 

Secondly, nabangga yung kotse ni Kevin habang naka stop sila sa gilid ng kalsada sa Katipunan. Nag papalit sya ng flat tire nung bumangga yung sosyal na kotse sa likuran nya. And get this, LASING YUNG DRIVER NA NAKABANGGA SAKANILA. I hate reckless drivers, parang tanga, edi pano kung napatay nya si Kevin? Sino nalang mag tatapik tapik sakin kapag gusto ko mag nap sa car? huhuhu 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Transmogrify

Transmogrify means to transform, especially in a surprising or magical manner. Because I am not a witch from Hogwarts, I can only show you a picture that I transformed using photography magic. He he he I have been super excited about this photo challenge project because I have so many printed photos that I have never shared publicly. This photo that I posted for “transmogrify” week was taken using a Pentax K1000 SE 35mm film camera with 50mm F/2 SMC lens. It sounds like a high-powered gun but really it’s just an old camera I used to play with back in college. The photo looks redish because I used an expired film that’s probably bought by my mother during the 90s. haha

image2-1

This is a place we call the graffiti world. It’s just an empty lot in the heart of Intramuros where wild kids like myself hang out. When I skate here, I also snap some photos for my photography class. The walls around the graffiti world were my favorite subject; aside from the talented skaters of course. Every week, the drawings in the walls change. There are no rules, anyone can put out their art. That is the reason why I’m always excited to go here. I get to practice my board tricks and I get to see different street art from mega talented graffiti artists. They give so much life and culture in this abandoned lot, and I think nothing else is as magical and surprising than that.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Local

This week’s photo challenge theme is “local”. I can post a picture of my home or our place in the province but I wanted to share a community that I am as equally proud of. This is a photo I took at the Rakrakan Festival last year. I love this music festival so much because it brings so many musicians and music fans together. Our local music scene is always finding new ways to amaze me. For the past three years, I have seen big and beautiful changes. Music festivals have been becoming more popular and more genres have been receiving overwhelming attention from people especially from the younger crowd. The Rakrakan Festival 2017 is happening this Saturday and it is bigger than ever. I am about to throw myself in the middle of a great local music event again and I am going to do it right.

Tonight Alive’s Limitless and All my 2016 Drama

I said I would only blog about local songs and bands, but right now I just can’t help but write about Tonight Alive. The new year has just started so I’m still feeling nostalgic and sentimental. Personally, 2016 was so challenging and Tonight Alive is one of the bands who got me through the year.

In 2016, my father retired from work because of his health condition, my best friend went abroad for good, and someone who I treated like a sister turned out to be the worst friend in the world. Everything that happened carved big holes in my heart. I felt I died multiple times. I know I’m being a super drama queen here but it’s true, I’m never going to be the same again after 2016. I think no one will ever be the same again if they found out that their father has Alzheimers, or that their closest friend is spreading rumors about them and their family for months, or that their soul’s other half is going away and they’ll never gonna see each other for at least two years. Even I am not strong enough for all that.

Tonight Alive has always sung out my feelings for me. They wrote songs that perfectly capture the situations I’m in. Their newest album, Limitless, is a different record. I didn’t appreciate it the first time I heard it. But this year, when everything happened, all I can cling onto was this album. I kept playing The Greatest for hours, days!

The album talks about facing problems headstrong and getting over each one of them with grace. I didn’t appreciate the record the first time I heard it because I didn’t understand it. Before, I didn’t know what it’s like to become a better person by being able to overcome life’s challenges. All I know is getting over boys and being a strong woman by being independently single all the time. I thought I’m already being strong by being that. After my 2016 hurdles, I realized that there is more to life than breakups. I hold my true friends and family tighter and closer to my heart; “I am happiest when I’m surrounded by the best of my friends and that’s as simple as it gets”

Hashtag Blessed: Bye, 2016! 

The Blessed Project
We have a blogging challenge for this month and it is called #BlessedDecember. Basically, we just need to list all the things that make us feel blessed. I am a very emotional person and as a result I tend to find comfort and happiness in the most random things. Sometimes, just discovering a new song is a form of blessing for me. I listed some of the events and people and things that made my 2016 great. What I listed are not really concrete things like “events and people and things” so I think I just lied? HAHAHA. I also tried to ask some artists what makes them feel blessed, so below you’ll find answers from Jef Roxas (NYMMA), Jason Rondero (Silent Sanctuary), Remar Sabangan (RLG), and Bea Valera.
I hope you enjoy this post.

Our goal is to spread positivity to counter all the bad juju we’ve been having lately. Make your own list too!
I’ll just go ahead and start my list here:

1. That cold and dark moment we experience just before the sunrise
I AM A BIG MORNING PERSON. There is nothing more comforting for me than enjoying a cup of hot something and a good book while waiting for the sun to rise. Every time I am rested enough to wake up this early I get all smooshy emotional.

2. Mother Freakin’ COFFEE
I wish you all understand the important role of coffee in my life. I just love it so much. Sometimes, when I already had so much coffee, I just make a cup and let it sit nearby. I don’t drink it, I just let it exist somewhere close; slowly becoming cold and shyly spreading its sweet aroma all over me. I have also shared so many touching moments with my friends over coffee. 2016 has been the year of coffee winning over beer. HAHA

3. Friends who tolerate me when I’m in the mood to rant
I always feel bad every time I had to drop bad vibes to anyone. I tend to overreact and when something bothers me, IT BOTHERS EVERYONE AROUND ME. hahaha I don’t know where I’ll be without my friends who were there at every emotional meltdown. You always say the right things and you make me feel that even though I’m in a challenging position, I’m not in it alone. MWAH!

4. Friends who tolerate me when I’m exaggeratedly happy
I am a black and white person. I am happy or I am sad, there is no in between emotion. So when I’m happy, I am as exaggerated as to when I’m sad. Sometimes I am annoying to me too.

5. Live Music

OMG I think I watched a thousand gigs and concerts this year. My favorite genre has always been pop punk, but this year I had the opportunity to explore other genres and more local artists.
I think the highlight of my year in music was the In the Mix concert. THAT WAS CRAZY. I watched it alone in the eve of my birthday. It sounds depressing but it really wasn’t. I got to watch Panic at the Disco, James Bay, and The 1975 live. I cried so hard, guys. I think I wrote a poem about this. Hahahhahaha I’m not joking lol.

6. Work/ Work Friends

I just love it that I work with inspiring people everyday. Everyone is so passionate about writing, travelling, music, etc. They make it so hard to feel uninspired. The drive and dedication I see everyday is contagious.

7. Ohana

My family is not perfect but I love them so much. My cousins and I are so much closer than ever. I feel that no matter what problem comes or way, we can get out of it gracefully and together. No Dael is left behind. Charat.

SHARING SOME #BLESSED feels from our friends in the music industry he he he:


“I feel blessed kasi pogi ako”

– Remar Sabangan, RedLightGo!

“Ako thought of death ang nagpapafeeling blessed sakin. Realtalk. Hehe Wala lang. It all ends there eh. Death is its own reward.”

– Jef Roxas, Now You Make Me Angry

“Work and good times with family and friends.”

– Jason Rondero, Silent Sanctuary and Brisom

“Being able to pay rent and bills by myself. Masaya na ako dun. 😂”

– Bea Valera